we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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