how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my shit smells like andre
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My life is pants optional.
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