No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
