I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just threw up on my dentist
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
