how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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