We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
