would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
