If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
