i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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