I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
