You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
