i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
