Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
