i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
