I heard we made out
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
