I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
