I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
