i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
