In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
