Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Let's get the cat blown out
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
