quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
