mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I intend to get homeless drunk
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
