i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
