You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
