Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
