i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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