I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
