Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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