I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
