frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
