When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
