She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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