As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
