I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
These tits shall not be calmed
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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