So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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