Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
