windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
