Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
