There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
