He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
