So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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