Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
