Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
