capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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