"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
