I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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