You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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