yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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