I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
