Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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