The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish i was in the wii world.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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