Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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