Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
