funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
