the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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